Ever thought about becoming strong, lean, happy, confident, rich, resilient, sociable, loving or something else?
Perhaps you want to become a unicorn riding warrior.
We all have or had aspirations on becoming something.
Today I focus on the first part of that journey - On becoming average.
Becoming average is not a slight on your character, I am confident you are well above average in many areas of your life whether that be business, relationships, spiritual or well-being but there will be some areas that you are not.
Elon Musk successful in business but married three times and recently called his child “X Æ A-12” . Richard Branson family man and entrepreneur having to lay off large numbers of staff, Lady gaga multi award winning singer, actress, performer suffers with anxiety.
It is not possible to hit a home run every time you strike for the ball... I could carry on giving example after example here but let's pause and agree that whilst we can excel in many areas of our life there will be some areas where a FOCUS on progress towards becoming average is a solid foundation.
There is possibly a little voice in your head still not liking this, "but I want to be great", sure start with average, "but I want to hit my master goal", sure start with moving towards it..."but"… no matter how you look at it, average is more obtainable, its less threatening and can support you in generating momentum towards your goal.
Trying to be perfect is the biggest cause of failure I see in clients.
In an effort to reach perfection many clients look for quick fixes, fads and trends, but do not make the effort to understand how this is sustainable, suitable for them as an individual and how they can own the decision ... failure tends to be put down to the product, fad and fix… or is taken really personally as proof as to why they can not change.
It’s easy to believe the story that we are better than we are and certain activities are beneath us... we are very creative in coming up with reasons why “that’s not for me, i'm better than that” or " I need something special".
I’m not immune to it either, in spite of being very good in some aspects of my life, I am quick to forget (or ignore) the steps that had allowed me to get to that point. I can easily allow my ego to take over and I soon start to believe I’m that good in all areas, I mean who needs to learn about business basics right - that's well below me…
I’m reminded of the research here… We think we do 70% of the housework, we think we are all above average drivers, we think self talk can help us overcome anything with a little positive thinking and if only I had a little more will power.
Becoming aware of our own stories, bias and limitations and letting go of the perfection myth is the number one reason for successful change in clients.
When clients learn to let go of what they think they should be doing and start seeing what actually needs to happen next based on honest self reflection… the magic begins.
So let’s start by accepting we have a long way to go before we reach perfection, let’s start by agreeing grandeur is a little out of reach for now, let’s start by being open and honest with exactly where we are at, let’s not be harsh just honest let's start by focussing on becoming... average.
On becoming... average.
I would love for you to read this and find ways to disagree with me, discussion can only further the debate and maybe even generate clearer action. But as I see it to become great, first you must become average, to become average we must start, to start we must
1.Be honest with yourself - accept the situation as it is.
Whether this is through journaling, mindfulness, asking for feedback from family and friends, coaching or a long walk, get below the surface of your day to day stressors. Look at your life through the eyes of a stranger, what would they see? How would they describe you? With that information, dont judge, see it as it is… refreshingly honest appraisal to work from.“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realise half of them are stupider than that.”
2. Know your strengths - what areas do you excel at?
What would a friend or stranger say are your strengths, what are you good at, what areas of your life do you excel in wether family, friends, creative, business, health, it matters not - you have a unique skill set that got you there...
3. Know exactly where you want to be - what are you working on?
What is it you want to become - is it yours or what society or family or friends say you should become? let's assume it's yours - what does it look like, what does it smell like, what does it feel like?
4. Know how to use your strengths to get to where you want to go?
How can you apply your strengths more often? How can you utilise where you are above average to support where you are below?
There are no shortcuts on becoming, engage in the process and accept where you are now and that becoming average is the first step towards anything else.
Chris Garvey Habitual.club.